Heading to chemo in 30 min. Did my exercise,drank 8 ounces of veggie juice...that Jason made up, I dont know how I got so lucky in finding this man, he does all the laundry, all the cooking, and runs me to every appointment, tells me that I am beautiful, and makes me so very happy.
I know this journey is very challenging on all of those closest to me. Jason has made a commitment to take care of me and to be my side every step of the way through the sleepless nights, through the many tears, and through my many challenges he has taken a leap of faith and shown me true love, and what a real partnership looks like.
Jason is a man among men, his kindness overwhelms me, I will forever be grateful for the depth of love and care and support he gives to me.
This week I have experienced more fatigue, however, I have been told that you need to keep moving through chemo even if you are tired and feel like crap! The way chemo works is if you lie around for more than an hour, you actually start to feel worse. So mentally you have to dig deep. I had a very emotional day yesterday, every sappy love song, every song that tells you to live your life because you don't know what tomorrow will bring hit me hard.
Rayanne bless her sweet soul gave me a hug and held me tightly as I cried on her shoulder last night, she said its ok Mom everything will be ok. Jason was there with hugs as some days the emotion just gets the best of you. Chemo weeks are especially tough because you meet with a nurse who asks how your last chemo was, reinforces how you to need to eliminate all stress and live selfishly for you...easier said than done some days as the daily challenges still exist, they do not go away when you have cancer...you need to find a way to eliminate the drama, to teach the lessons, to learn the lessons, to let go, to stay positive, its a daily struggle and an ongoing commitment to choose a positive attitude and not get dragged down, to not feel sorry for yourself. Some days I do a good job at this and other times you just need to know its ok to fall down and feel the pain, feel the sadness, to be angry. With cancer you feel such a sense of urgency to fast track everything, unsure of how much time you will be gifted.
We have had many laughs as well, those who know me well know how sarcastic and what a smart ass I am. I can't help it it spills out of me...out of my control. I love quick witted people and have found met my match with Jason. I have this banter with my closest girlfriends and kids and family as well...to just say it as it is and see the humor in it.... you have to....or I have to.... its a survival mechanism!
Today at Chemo I met a young guy 32 who lost his leg to cancer had to get it amputated from the knee down, that was two years ago and now cancer has returned up by his heart so he has another 10 months of chemo. He had the most positive outlook, we met his mom and dad who had the most beautiful spirit. You can not help but get uplifted and gain strength and get out of your own pity party when you hear other's stories of amazing strength and courage.
Will sign off with this funny video.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM
I know this journey is very challenging on all of those closest to me. Jason has made a commitment to take care of me and to be my side every step of the way through the sleepless nights, through the many tears, and through my many challenges he has taken a leap of faith and shown me true love, and what a real partnership looks like.
Jason is a man among men, his kindness overwhelms me, I will forever be grateful for the depth of love and care and support he gives to me.
This week I have experienced more fatigue, however, I have been told that you need to keep moving through chemo even if you are tired and feel like crap! The way chemo works is if you lie around for more than an hour, you actually start to feel worse. So mentally you have to dig deep. I had a very emotional day yesterday, every sappy love song, every song that tells you to live your life because you don't know what tomorrow will bring hit me hard.
Rayanne bless her sweet soul gave me a hug and held me tightly as I cried on her shoulder last night, she said its ok Mom everything will be ok. Jason was there with hugs as some days the emotion just gets the best of you. Chemo weeks are especially tough because you meet with a nurse who asks how your last chemo was, reinforces how you to need to eliminate all stress and live selfishly for you...easier said than done some days as the daily challenges still exist, they do not go away when you have cancer...you need to find a way to eliminate the drama, to teach the lessons, to learn the lessons, to let go, to stay positive, its a daily struggle and an ongoing commitment to choose a positive attitude and not get dragged down, to not feel sorry for yourself. Some days I do a good job at this and other times you just need to know its ok to fall down and feel the pain, feel the sadness, to be angry. With cancer you feel such a sense of urgency to fast track everything, unsure of how much time you will be gifted.
We have had many laughs as well, those who know me well know how sarcastic and what a smart ass I am. I can't help it it spills out of me...out of my control. I love quick witted people and have found met my match with Jason. I have this banter with my closest girlfriends and kids and family as well...to just say it as it is and see the humor in it.... you have to....or I have to.... its a survival mechanism!
Today at Chemo I met a young guy 32 who lost his leg to cancer had to get it amputated from the knee down, that was two years ago and now cancer has returned up by his heart so he has another 10 months of chemo. He had the most positive outlook, we met his mom and dad who had the most beautiful spirit. You can not help but get uplifted and gain strength and get out of your own pity party when you hear other's stories of amazing strength and courage.
Will sign off with this funny video.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM
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