Tough Break

One step forward and two back sometimes...I was going to work out Saturday, and my elliptical was unplugged, so I stepped off to check it out, rolled my ankle and fell hard on my wrist. I heard it snap and felt a lot of pain, looked down and it resembled a mangled fork. It was very deformed. I knew I had broken my wrist and holy crap was I in pain. Thank god Jason was here we had a few minutes of panic because my blood clots are always a concern and a risk factor, and we headed to emergency.

It turns out it was a bad break and I need to go for follow up with an orthopedic specialist to get a pin put in. For now I have a blue cast on and am trying hard not to feel sorry for myself. It was my right wrist pain killers are taking the edge off am sure I will feel better by end of the week. It has taken me seven hour to type this with my left hand lol kidding but much slower.

I am supposed to do chemo this week but my nutrifill count is still really low. I eslept last night, am grateful for the sleep....

Shout out to Jamie who is back at McKillican as El President!!! You will do a great job...McKillican is grateful to have you back. A shout out to Gary, my pops as well, am happy for both him and my Ma, as Dad can eventually focus on other passions he has.


Quote for the day....Robin Sharma


"Each day, life will send you little windows of opportunity. Your destiny will ultimately be defined by how you respond to these windows of opportunity. Shrink from them and your life will be small, feel the fear and run to them anyway, and you life will be big. Life's just too short to play little."

Play big and watch your step!

Much Needed Sunshine....Thank you!

Good day all, the sun is shining brightly this week! We were given some great news on Tuesday and I have been anxious to share it with you all but busy running around and now I have time to blog!! Four rounds on the new chemo and it appears to be working, or the combination of Chemo, natural therapy positive thinking, and prayers and support, seems to be doing the trick!. My tumors are shrinking in my lungs colon and liver, and one very big tumor in my liver has gone from 7.9 cm down to 6.1 cm.

So happy when Doctor Sunshine's intern, Johnny Walker delivered the news. Doctor Sunshine also came in after, all smiles as well with the results so that was nice to see!

SO what do the results mean. Well for now what they mean is that it buys me time, how much time is uncertain, none of us knows the answer to that. Many people have asked how long do you have to be on Chemo, it will likely be for a long time maybe for the rest of my life, or when Doctor Sunshine comes in and says all of your tumors are gone or they have shrunk down enough for us to consider surgury...always the optimist I will remain...

Had a good couple of weeks, my girlfriend Heather, the one I traveled to Australia with was here from Kelowna, and we had a few hours together, so nice!.  I also got together last weekend, with my girlfriend/sista Tabby from Harrison,  BC and many of my closest girlfriends. The boys were with with me as well. It was awesome, my girlfriends are like Aunts to the boys and we were able to tie in a busy hockey weekend, along with many wonderful laughs, we did laugh so much....Lisa, Tabby and I all have a similar sense of humor...and we can laugh about the simplest things and even turn it into a theme for the weekend! We think we are hilarious and am sure the rest of the world is puzzled by what we find to be so funny....When you go back 30 years with each other..holy crap that's a long time, there is a comfort level that allows you to just say it as it is! The girls and I, there were 7... of us (we missed you Petra!) we even got out for dinner and danced at a local pub...it was great. Thank you for the wonderful memory girls! You gals rock!

My sweet man is back in town, and we are celebrating the good news this week, it has been awesome. We took Rayanne and her friend Jen to the Hedley concert on Wednesday night, what a great concert, we all rocked out, it was alot of fun! Hoping to take in the Hunger Games movie with my Ma and Pa this weekend looks and sounds like a good movie!

I feel blessed and grateful for the news and have been feeling good and know that the amazing support and prayers of so many has also been instrumental in this fight. Thank you so much it overwelms me at times! Have had 10,000 hits on my blog and even have people from Russia, Australia, Mexico, Israel and Sweden following...which is so cool.... Onward and Upward...will leave you with a great new song by Hedley that I fell in love with and some pics of the girls and my boys....

Hedley- Heaven's Going to Wait
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYHRR4gwviw

All my Love Michelle and Grahame

This summer I went to London to witness a dear friend's wedding, Michelle, in Wales.   I had mentioned we combined it into a family holiday, as my mom and dad invited Jay and Ray to experience London with them, it really was a wonderful trip.

Michelle and I met in 1989 in Townsville, Australia.  We were kindred spirits of sorts, we share a similar cheeky sense of humor and we were both very headstrong!  Michelle I have always admired, she has always known what she wanted out of this life and gone for it.  We knew we would always stay in touch and after we went our separate ways, we stayed in touch. Michelle visited me in Canada a few times over the years, and I went and spent time with her in San Francisco when she was at College studying for her law degree. Heather and I went and stayed with Michelle in London, and Wales in 1994, where we met her family. At time we have struggled to stay in touch, but when we do finally catch up it as if know time has passed and we pick up where we left off.

Michelle's wedding was magnificent, beautiful, perfect, stunning, outstanding. It was a classic English Wedding and Mom and Dad and I were invited to witness this very special day. Mom and Dad had gotten to know Michelle's husband to be, Grahame over the last couple of years.  My great Aunt Maude passed away years ago and left her house to my dad, and he wanted to restore it. Grahame is in the construction business and he hired Grahame to oversee the renovation.

So a couple of funny stories to share about the wedding...we get there, I have not seen Michelle for over 10 years and we are not quite sure where the wedding is, we drive up to where we think the church is and see a bride and a guy coming out onto a lawn, and a wagon awaiting them.  Mom is like I am sure this is another wedding not Michelle's.  I said I hope so it would be so embarrassing to see the bride before the wedding, sure enough it is Michelle she is walking to the wagon and we are in a rental she is looking in to the vehicle, I am like hi Michelle.  She's like OMG you are supposed to be at the church, you are not supposed to see me!!! Only you Stacy Anne would try to upstage me at my wedding!!  We quietly follow the wagon to the church and try to quietly blend in with the crowd, and make are way into the church.  It is a beautiful old church with so much character we find the last seats in the hallway and sit down patiently awaiting the main event.  We are all under dressed as we quickly realize this is a very posh wedding.All the men are in formal suits and ties and the ladies are all wearing fancy hats.  Dad is in a green sweater and pants and Mom and I are in casual dresses with sweaters...Yikes!

The wedding is beautiful Michelle walks down the isle with her brother and passes me shaking her finger at me saying Stacy Stacy you are sassy thing....she still can't believe that I have tried to move in on her day!! Oh Michelle we had a laugh over that didn't we!

Mom Dad and I stay for hors d'oeuvres, and then decide to head into town to a local pub before the dinner for a pint of beer.  I am in 2 inch heels and have to go to the Loo when we get to the pub the bathrooms are downstairs, I miss the first stair out of 6 and end up crumpled in a pile at the bottom of the stairs.  Big crash can be heard throughout the pub. I think I am so cool and composed sometimes and these goofy funny things happen to me and bring me back to reality quickly.  Mom and Dad run to my rescue, and all I can do is start to laugh as it is hilarious and embarrassing and Mom and Dad start to laugh as well, we hadn't even had our first drink yet!

The next day looking for where the gift opening is we continued to let our presence be felt.  We went to the neighbors instead of Michelle's and realizing we are at the wrong place Gary (Dad) backs up and runs over a big homemade barbecue, busting out a review light in the rental, and a leaving a great big scratch on the SUV he rented.  The BBQ is full of bricks and dented as Gary quickly scrambles out to pick it up and Jay saunters out to help him.  We hop in the vehicle to make our get away and someone from the house comes out witnessing everything asking if she can help us???? No its ok we were just looking for the gift opening and we accidently knocked down your BBQ...she gave us a look like you crazy redneck Canadians, and off we went...Lol, sorry my friend we wanted to make sure we were not forgotten! I believe we accomplished our goal.

I stayed for an extra day with Michelle and got to know Grahame better, and we shared some laughs, and a wonderful canoe ride on a beautiful day down a lazy river, it was very special.

Now some sadness, when I got back from London, all my symptoms started which led to the diagnosis of cancer. After Michelle and Grahames honeymoon, Grahame had not been feeling well, and he too was diagnosed with cancer...bladder cancer, and has since had an operation, and I am awaiting word hoping it has not spread.  Life throws you some grenades I tell you.

Michelle and Grahame, I send you all of my love prayers and support.  You are a beautiful couple, and have much strength to fight this battle, as I fight along with you.  I love you, and we will beat this!

                                                   Michelle and her Brother Matt                    

                                                       Michelle and Grahame

                               Heather, Michelle, Annika and me in Townsville, Australia 1989

A couple of songs my friend to bring a smile and a memory to your heart...

Stop-Spice Girls -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5JD6ejmlpa8&ob=av2e
She Drives me Crazy:-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=majFrn3j1Co&feature=fvst

Restless in St.Albert....

Am having one of those nights I napped many times through out Sunday, and now I am challenged to get back to sleep, so thought I will blog for a while, until sleep returns.This time of night is worse for me as my mind really works overtime, and I become fearful of all that could be happening.  Today I get my CT test to see what the new treatment has done to the tumors.  Keep your prayers coming, am hoping and praying for the best.  My oncologist Doc Sunshine isn't scheduled to share the results for another week....You think if they saw fantastic results they would pick up the phone and share, and if not such fantastic results, well I can wait the week.

Am having a few other symptoms which seem to be from the colon cancer, constipation, much discomfort today and yesterday....and it is literally a pain in the ass. Not too much fun, I hope it passes soon... Sorry Mom I told you I would keep this blog clean!

Friday I found out that one of our McKillican employees of 15+ years passed away of a heart attack at work.  Jeff was his name, and he had 4 kids and was only 48. One of the ladies at work with CPR tried to resuscitate Jeff.  How hard this must of been for everyone at work, to witness.  My support and prayers go out to Jeff's family for the days to come.

I have some visitors this week.  Heather, my travel buddy and really like a sister is in town which I look forward to catching up to her, and Tabby one of my best friends and also like a sister...  is coming in at the end of the week.  I am so blessed and surrounded by amazing friends & family!

5 Things I am grateful for today:


Clarity of Mind
Today
The Sunshine 
Time with those I love
Breathing without effort

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.

Henry Van ****

More on My travels....

My mom and I headed from New Zealand to the beautiful country of Australia.  My mom's portion of her travel was to include just Australia from here and my Dad came down as well and met us for a couple of weeks.  We stayed in a place called Manley, which was a short ferry ride from Sydney, and when my mom and Dad left I transferred to a hostile in Manly, awaiting Heather's arrival...Going from a 5 star hotel to 1 star hostile took some getting used to, but it is the only way to go to really learn all there is about people from different countries, how to travel on a budget and what to see off the beaten tourist path, so you can enjoy all there is to take in with the Aussie culture, what an adventure we had!

Heather and I both had a working visa and the plan was to travel and work along our way...we had some very interesting jobs to say the least!  The first job I had was as a Nanny for 5 kids, under the age of 6, all girls.  I remember calling my Mom and telling her all about it, as I was talking to her there was a peacock running through the living room and 5 girls running wildly after it.  My thoughts at this time was I don't think I am cut out for motherhood, and if I am I will limit to 2 kids! Well we know how well that plan worked out, and now I can look back on it as training for what was ahead of me!!  I remember dealing with tantrums, fishing full rolls of toilet paper out of the toilet daily and experiencing pure exhaustion at the end of every day!

While I was doing this Heather was bar-tending at a nearby local tavern/ restaurant.  The owner was the father of the 5 girls I was a nanny for....she definitely got the better part of the deal. We were in a town called Eungella, on the East Coast of Australia in the Mountains, the locals were definitely a bit red-neck, but very nice.

The nanny job turned out to be short term, their mom who was helping at the restaurant decided to come back to working from home full time. Although I did fall in love with all 5 girls in the process; Courtney 1, Jessica 3, Sarah 4, Amanda 5, Brook 6....Yikes!  At 22 was somewhat relieved to be changing careers.  I was offered a job with Heather bar-tending. The tavern was next to a 5 star restaurant and fancier bar called the Eungella Chalet, so we worked going back and forth between the two.  Heather had bar-tended before, and taught me everything I needed to know...I loved it! The trade off between Nannying and Bartending was I traded a beautiful home I stayed in, for a very run down 2 bedroom hostile behind the Chalet...lol was all good though Heather and I were together again, along with Chef Cliff who was like our baby brother. So many laughs we all had, and many a good party... it was a lot of fun!

                                 Sarah, Jessica, Amanda, Brooke (Baby Courtney Sleepin!)

This was one of many great adventures we had in the land down under...More to follow!

Create that Bucket List!

This journey has me looking at my priorities even closer these days, as I remain optimistic for the future, I also remain realistic that with the aggressive cancer I have I need to be prepared to live with cancer. What I have been told is my cancer is incurable, although we will continue to pray for a miracle, realistically what I can hope for is to try to find the right treatment, and drug and natural combination that will stop the tumours from growing, and medically the best case scenario would be to shrink the tumours, prevent any new ones from developing, and buy me as much time as possible. To also to continue to work hard at managing the side affects from chemo.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           It has been a tough place to be at times, as on one hand you want to ensure you are doing everything possible to ensure the best outcome, which involves around the clock appointments, and a complete change in diet, and ongoing work on creating the most positive state of mind. And on the other hand you want to ensure you make the most of every day and the relationships that mean so much to you. Finding all the time you need to do these things is the challenge, and like all things, I need to strike a balance that allows me to do all of these things...I will get there.

I want to create a bucket list and start to work towards achieving everything possible on that list.  This has been a goal in the past before for me, but it definately takes on more urgency when you are racing against time.

One of the great joys in my life has been travel.  I have been fortunate to see alot. It started in 1989 when I went to Australia for a year.  Encouraged by my parents they gifted me a plane ticket of anywhere I wanted to go.  I chose Australia and planned out my trip.  I couldn't find anyone of my close friends who wanted to go, or who were able to go so I started to ask around and found a girl through a mutual acquaintence who was also wanting to plan such a trip, and gave her a call.

Heather and I had a trip of a lifetime. It was February 1989. I was 22 years old.  My trip started in Hawaii, Heather couldn't come right away so I started the trip with my Mom, which ended up being a great experience for both of us.  We went to Hawaii and then to New Zealand where we spent a couple of weeks there travelling this amazing country.  It was beautiful in New Zealand there are over 4 million people, the capital is Auckland and it is divided by a North and South Island to explore.

We had a great time, and we spent some time on the South Island, travelling to a place called Queenstown. For my first adventure,  I had always wanted to try White Water Rafting and there was a grade four river in this Canyon called the Shotover river that was supposed to be an amazing adventure.  My challenge was talking my mom into doing it, she had some fear of water, so it would be a tough sell.

Upon arriving to Queenstown, we met up that night with a family from Colorado. A Mom in her 70's and her son and daughter in their 40's who took a trip every year together.  They happened to have booked that White Water adventure the next day, and that evening we met up and started to drink wine together.  We drank alot of wine and by the end of the night we had talked my mom into signing up for the trip the next day. The daughter had gone on and on about what an expert rafter she was, and the son, was interesting as he lost his leg in a motorcycle accident and was wearing a prosthetic leg, and after a few glasses of  wine, I asked him if I could try it out...lol, strange I know, but wine does funny things to you, and well I was curious!

The next day we headed out, and the drive through the Canyon scared the crap out of both of us. It was an old winding mining road, with twists and bends and cliff edges that was only big enough for the jeep we were riding in.  I was so happy to get to the rafting spot.  My mom was so nervous, and looking back I was so proud of her, this was a huge step out of her comfort zone.

By the time we started out, Sue who was the "Expert Rafting Expert" was getting on both of our nerves.  She was in our raft.  We headed out, and it was such an exhilarating, amazing experience, the river was fast, and there were 4 foot shelves that would drop and your adrenaline would pick up.  Half way into the trip our "expert" reached out with her paddle and caught a rock, she was flipped overboard into the flowing river.  I was laughing inside at this time, the expert was overboard trying to desperately climb back in to the raft.  Of course I helped her, and she had some excuse for the dangerous angle she choose to reach her paddle out....Mom and I had such a good laugh over that one!!!

We made it to our destination, Mom and I both managed to stay in the raft, the "expert" was a little quieter from then on...we had experienced this great adventure together, my mom and I, and I will always cherish...I will continue to add a few more adventures to my bucket list over the months to come!

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

A song from my travel days...he was/is big in Australia, Jimmy Barnes, I loved his music at the time, and it brings back fond memories...hope you enjoy! The video is definately from the 80's!

There Aint No Second Prize

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkFXbmELw6c